Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
