She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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