OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She tied me up with her honor cords...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
