Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he thought i was a dude.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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