no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
