i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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