I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
someone owes me an orgasm
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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