I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
