she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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