I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
