called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
