just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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