so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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