we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
