I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
