she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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