Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize