I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
