I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
