Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
