i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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