She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm both gender and math confused
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
