i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
