I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
