Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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