Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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