Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the condom got lost in my hair
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize