You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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