We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
