I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize