oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Don't make out with my wife yet
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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