thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
