maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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