operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Also, beer. Big fan.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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