Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?