Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.