wakey wakey hands off snakey
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can't turn off my feet"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo