i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it