actually, I'm a sock model
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.