Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?