i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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