that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
