Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
