my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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