I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
