Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
