Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
