remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
