its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
