What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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