I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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