I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
