She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
