what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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