I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
