OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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