So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
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Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
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If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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