i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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