I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize