worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
