i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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