somebody snuck up and got me drunk
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
