I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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